Friday, June 15, 2012

Taking Away

Oh wow, it has definitely been awhile since I have ventured onto my blog. The Lord has brought me through SO much since than, but I will bring you to where I am now. Basically, He is teaching me to CLING to Him with all of my heart, all of my mind, all of my soul, and all of my strength. Here recently, my strength and energy have been at their lowest points. I have been exhausted from working, taking part in VBS and VBX at my church this past week, and other circumstances in my life. However, the Lord remained faithful to me by providing the strength and energy I desperately needed to continue to love on the kiddos in a way that I never could have done on my own. Thank you, Jesus. In the past few days, my world has been rocked and taken a turn I did not see coming. I do not understand why the Lord is taking me through this hard time... I am confused, I am frustrated, I am hurting, I am sad, but I am CHOOSING to cling to the Lord's love. In these moments when my flesh is trying to tell me that the Lord is against, I remind myself of Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." I may not understand why the Lord is bringing me through this trial, and it may not make any sense to me, but I know that He will never take me through something that I cannot handle without Him. "I can do all things through him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:13 Key words there are "THROUGH HIM"... I have to recognize that I cannot overcome this trial on my own, I NEED Jesus. Only He can mend my heart, and show me that He is my One True Love and the ultimate Pursuer of my heart. So often, I fall into the trap of wanting to fix things on my own, but I have to release the desire for that control. The Lord wants to take that weight off of my shoulders... He does not want me to bear that burden. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7 In times like this, it is very easy to give into the flesh and allow the Author of Lies to creep in and tell us that the Lord does not have our best interest at heart. However, Jesus is sweetly and tenderly revealing to me just how deep His love is for me, and giving me the strength to tell the Author of Lies get out of my head because my God is bigger and has already overcome any of the problems I face. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." -James 4:7 If someone were to ask me what the Lord is teaching me right now, my answer would be: "He is teaching me that He truly does give and take away, and even though I do not understand why the Lord is taking away right now, I know that He is still sovereign and He has a greater plan for my life. Just like Ecclesiastes 3:1 states, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens..." I trust that the Lord knows what He is doing, even though I may not be able to see it clearly. In this time in my life when the Lord is taking away, He is refining my heart and revealing to me more of His character. I feel like He is asking me, "In this season of taking away, are you going to choose to still bring me glory?" Yes, Jesus, I choose to trust in Your plans for my life and choose to glorify Your name through it all. You alone know my heart, and You alone are worthy to be praised. "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." -Job 1:21 

Jesus, even though I do not fully understand what is going on, I thank you for this time of refining and drawing me closer to You. As You tenderly continue to reveal Yourself to me, I am falling more and more in love with You. I am trusting that in Your perfect timing You will bring clarity to this trial, but if for whatever reason You do not, I know that serves a purpose as well. Because ultimately, You know my heart better than anyone else, and You know exactly what I need. For now, I choose to cling to You! "'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'" -Jeremiah 33:3

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